


I Can Do It!

by Bizarra



Series: Come Healing Universe [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Come Healing Universe, Episode: s03e12 Macrocosm, F/M, Recovery, episode rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23256289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizarra/pseuds/Bizarra
Summary: Kathryn returns from her first mission alone after the Kazon attack to find the ship overrun with macroviruses and she has to fight to overcome her inner demons as well as the alien virus.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Series: Come Healing Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1476011
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34
Collections: Come Healing Universe: Collected Works





	I Can Do It!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mostly scene by scene rewrite of Macrocosm to fit within the Come Healing Universe. 
> 
> Thank you Caladenia for the beta! It's a much better story in the end, thanks to you!

A “Macrocosm” Come Healing story.  
This story is a direct scene by scene rewrite of “Macrocosm” therefore much of the source episode is directly referenced and quoted. No infringement is intended. It was necessary to tell the kind of story I wanted to tell. Within the Come Healing Universe, this story is set during Chapter 4 of the main story, [Come Healing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19026430/chapters/45186646). 

If you haven't read that story, I recommend you read it before reading this. This story will make much more sense within that context. 

\--

Kathryn could feel the knot in her stomach tighten as they ran scan after scan of Voyager. With the electrical interference they couldn’t find the crew, and that worried Kathryn greatly. When the adrift ship fully came into view, she flew the shuttle around it. There were no weapon burns, no damage. No indication that anything was wrong. Voyager simply looked as if she were at an all stop. 

“Janeway to Commander Chakotay, please respond,” she hailed again. She closed her eyes to feelings she didn’t want to admit as they began to well up. Her throat closed when she tapped her combadge and tried again, not able to hide the pleading in her voice. “Chakotay, please.”

She took deep breaths, trying to fight off the distant sound of phasers that always signalled the beginning of a flashback. She couldn’t get lost in one. Not now. A soft hand lay on her shoulder, and she startled.

“Captain, are you okay?”

She looked at her dear friend. “Yes,” she exhaled. She turned to face her ship, then her eyes cleared. “We need to get aboard. Find out what’s wrong.” She moved back to the weapons compartment and handed Neelix a phaser, hoping to hell she wouldn’t need to use one. The sound of a real phaser could send her into a nightmare and she really didn’t want to find out. “I hope they’re just having mechanical problems.”

Neelix nodded. “Me too, Captain.”

—

They crept through the eerily quiet corridors. Kathryn kept up the scans on the tricorder she held. “I can’t find the crew, but the sensors can’t get through the bioelectrical field that’s permeating the ship.” She was thankful for the mystery, because it kept her mind on the present.

“Where do you think it’s coming from?” Neelix asked her, his own tricorder giving the same results.

Kathryn shrugged, “Let’s access the internal sensors.” She moved to the wall panel and tried to access the computer. “The readings are the same,” she told Neelix. “The main computer and comms are offline. Looks like there’s a ruptured gel pack in the mess hall. Most systems there seem to be functioning normally otherwise.” Kathryn tapped off the panel and stood straight. “Let’s get to the bridge.”

They rounded a corner. “Captain, look!” Neelix rushed forward to an open toolbox that lay abandoned.

Kathryn moved forward and crouched down. “The work is unfinished, and this equipment is still active.” She reached to switch off the spanner and closed the toolbox.

Neelix looked around, “It’s as if they just dropped what they were doing and ran off.”

Kathryn’s tricorder blipped, and she opened it. “There’s a comms signal over here.” They followed the signal and stopped. “This is Ensign Wildman’s quarters.” Something in her stomach tightened, as she tapped her override, and the door slid open.

Neelix stepped in before she could and took in the surroundings. The unit on the table was playing his _Breakfast with Neelix_ show. “Here’s our comm signal, Captain. Ensign Wildman activated it eleven hours ago according to the timestamp.” Neelix continued even as Kathryn stopped listening.

“No sign of the baby. Either of them.” 

“Either of them?” His eyes widened. “Oh, Charlie. He does sometimes stay here, doesn’t he?”

Kathryn hesitantly nodded.

Neelix lay a caring hand on her arm. “It’s okay. I understand.” He took a breath and then assured, “He must be with Commander Chakotay then.”

“Yes. He must be.” She bit back her concern. As they started to leave, they heard a loud buzzing sound, almost like an insect. “What the hell?” Kathryn ran toward the door. Just as they moved back into the corridor they saw a shadow round a corner. “It moved so fast, I couldn’t tell if it was humanoid. It’s emitting a bioelectrical field.” Then they heard a crash.

“Whatever it was, it just hit a dead end.” Neelix replied as they eased cautiously forward. They followed the sound to the transporter room. With the doors half opened, they pressed against the wall. Kathryn gestured for Neelix to stay put and snuck a peek into the room. Nothing. No one was there, so she led the pair inside.

It was then she noticed the gaping hole in the transporter's floor. “Here, Neelix. Look at this.” She moved toward the object of their curiosity, “something just punched right through this into the Jefferies tube below.” She crouched and scanned it with her tricorder. “It’s some sort of mucilaginous compound.” She read the results on the scanner. “High concentrations of amino acids, proteins and,” she glanced upward, “fragments of non-humanoid DNA.” Neelix’s eyes met hers. “Well, Ambassador, it looks like we’ve got an unexpected guest.”

“Somehow, I don’t think he’s the diplomatic type.”

Kathryn’s lips turned up into a wry smirk, when the room suddenly went dark. She immediately stood and rushed to the transporter console. “What’s happening?” she heard Neelix ask as she tapped the controls in vain. She glanced down as her newly appointed ambassador stood opposite her. “Main power is going offline. Environmental controls are failing.” She tamped down the fear that was knotting her gut. “Systems are shutting down one by one. We’d better get to the Bridge.”

In the distance she began to hear phasers. Kathryn closed her eyes. “Not now,” she whispered to herself. “You can do this, Kathryn.” She inhaled deeply, then blew out the breath. 

She felt a hand squeeze hers. “You’ll be all right, Captain.” Neelix assured. “I’ll pull you back.”

She didn’t know exactly how much Chakotay had told their morale officer before the trip. She knew he wouldn’t divulge anything other than what the Talaxian needed to hear. So much for her first away mission since...well, since Voyager’s hijacking. She smiled softly, “thank you, Neelix.” She nodded, feeling stronger. “Let’s go.”

The pair made their way down the deck on full alert lest they run into any of the mystery guests. Finally, they stopped at a turbolift. The doors slid open as if nothing was wrong. They stepped in, and she tested the panel. “Oh good, we’ve still got auxiliary power. Deck One,” she called, and the lift moved.

Neelix paced, “It’s awfully hot in here.” He muttered, pulling at his collar.

“When the environmental controls fail, heat from the warp plasma conduits can’t be vented,” Kathryn explained as she scanned the rising lift, “expect a heat wave before too long.”

“No problem, I’m used to it.” Neelix paced. He began to speak, telling Kathryn about other worlds he’d visited. No doubt as a cover to his own anxiety.

“It’s not much different from the summers in Indiana,” Kathryn added, silently wishing the lift would hurry. The confined space, in addition to the rising heat and Neelix’s own rising fear was doing nothing to settle her already fragile nerves.

Her companion was just complaining about giant flies when the lift clanked, shifted diagonally, and juddered to a stop. Kathryn stopped breathing momentarily, then shook her head to clear out the unwanted images of Seska of all people. _Stop it!_ She admonished the mental flood. Something banged against the lift, and she dropped to her knees. Focus on the now, Kathryn. Focus on the now. She repeated the mantra that she and Chakotay had come up with to help combat her memories of being held by the Kazon.

She again shook her head, then concentrated on scanning the closed door. They heard the familiar buzzing sound. “There’s a life form in the turboshaft.” She glanced at her companion. “I’m engaging the manual override.” She turned to the small control pad along the bulkhead and tapped at the buttons to no avail. The buzzing grew louder. With a sinking feeling, she agreed with Neelix’s assessment that their invader had brought friends along. “Dammit, I can’t get this to work.”

She pulled out her tricorder again and scanned the area above them. “I don’t think they’re above us.” Pocketing the scanner, she reached to pull open the ceiling escape hatch. “We’ll have to climb out.” Just as she pulled at the latch something burst through the wall and attacked Neelix. Without thinking, she grabbed her phaser and shot at the… thing. It quickly retreated. She leaned back against the wall, suddenly overwhelmed with the echoes of phasers. The insistent hand on her arm, pulled her from the moment.

“Uh, Captain.” He glanced at her, then down at his chest, now covered in green goo. “That was no lava fly,” Neelix told her, evoking their previous conversation about large insects.

Again the scanner came out. She ran the small machine over the mess on Neelix’s clothes. “No, it sure wasn’t. This is the same substance we saw earlier.” She looked into the man’s frightened eyes. “Are you okay?”

When he nodded, she reached upward and yanked open the hatch. “We’re getting out of here.” She jumped and grabbed the ledge, then with the help of Neelix, pulled herself up and onto the roof of the lift car. She glanced around the tube. It was empty, save for rivulets of the slime dripping down the walls. She wrinkled her nose at the smell. Leaning down, she reached out, “Grab my arm, I’ll pull you up.”

“I’m too heavy for you, Captain,” the Talaxian protested.

She insisted. “Jump as I pull, your momentum should help until you can grab the edge and lift yourself.”

“Aye,” He did as she suggested and soon they were on their way again.

—

Deciding it was safer, they entered the Jeffries tube system and started to crawl. As they stood in a junction, Kathryn noticed Neelix was looking a bit worse for wear, “Are you sure you’re all right?”

He nodded, “I’m sure. Disgusting, yes. But, I’m fine.”

They crawled into the next tube and made their way forward. The heat was getting worse and the distant phaser sound was becoming ever present. Kathryn closed her eyes, willing her fear at bay. They reached the next crossroads and crawled out. She scanned around and grinned. “Life signs! Human life signs above us.” She glanced at the readout, “looks to be about thirty.” She blew out a breath and leaned against the bulkhead next to her. Thank god. She couldn’t tell who or where they were though.

“Maybe some of the crew have established a defence perimeter and are fighting off the intruders from there.”

“Maybe,” she said happily, “one thing’s for certain. They’re still alive.” She moved forward, “once we get the main computer online, we can pinpoint their location.” Kathryn crossed into the next tube, in her excitement, she failed to notice that Neelix was slowing down considerably.

They finally reached the next major junction and stepped out. “It’s so hot,” her companion complained. “I’m feeling dizzy all of a sudden.”

Kathryn whirled and scanned him. “You’ve got a fever. That alien compound seems to act quickly.” She glanced at the ladder next to them. “Just three more decks to go, try to hang on.” As she reached for a rung, her eye drifted toward the corridor exit. Three more decks. Deck Three. She wondered if Chakotay and Charlie were among the thirty crew members they’d detected. She looked upward and started to climb when Neelix stumbled and collapsed. “Neelix!”

“Go on without me, Captain.” He took a deep rattling breath. “My lung feels as though it’s filling with fluid. I can’t go any further.”

“I’m not leaving you alone.” She assured him.

“I’m too dizzy, I can’t… you have to keep moving.”

She nodded upward. “There’s a medkit in the tube above us. I’ll go get it.”

“No! Captain,” Neelix protested, but quieted at her look.

Kathryn ascended the ladder, shooing the constant sounds of shooting which resonated in her mind. She rose quickly, ignoring the persistent feeling that Seska was coming for her. Again. She threw her mind into climbing. Climb. Climb. Climb. Don’t think of anything else. 

She approached the next floor and reached the medical case just as she heard Neelix’s panicked yell.

“I’m coming, Neelix!” She quickly scrambled down the Jefferies tube. The sounds of her friend being attacked by an enemy they hadn’t identified yet, an enemy which had muted the whole ship, drifted upward and she swallowed deeply. The persistent phaser fire grew louder and louder in her mind. “Stop it!” she mumbled, “stop it!”

Once the approaching flashback quieted again, the silence was deafening. She wasn’t sure what terrified her more. The horrific sound of something attacking Neelix, or the heavy stillness. She finally reached the bottom, finding only an empty junction. Empty save for a trail of goo and something else. Was that Talaxian blood? Oh God.

She sat back as heat and panic overtook her. They’re all gone. She was the only one left behind. “I can’t let them take me,” she muttered. “Not again.” She stood abruptly. “Ok, stop this, Katie Janeway! You can’t help anyone if you fall apart. You can’t help Chakotay. You can’t help Charlie. You can’t help Sam or Naomi.” She paced in circles, feeling sweat drip down her back as she admonished herself, “you cannot help the crew and get your ship back if you can’t get your own shit together.” She clenched her fists. “You can do this. You can do this.” With her resolve back and her panic shoved deep inside, she squared her shoulders. “I can do this.” 

Kathryn switched gears and headed back down to Engineering. From there she could judge the health of the ship’s warp core and other main systems. She could also load up with weapons. She had a feeling it would take more than a small hand phaser to fight whatever had taken over the ship and silenced the crew. Now that Neelix was gone, it was up to her to retake the ship from whatever those things were. She needed to protect her ship and protect her crew. That called for the biggest gun she could find.

The engineering room was empty, with no aliens in sight. The warp core seemed to be fine, though it was offline. There would be no quick escape should it become necessary. She wiped the perspiration from her face and moved to the upper level. There she opened the weapons store and stripped down to her tank top. She took a moment to relish the slight coolness of the air on her skin. Starfleet uniforms had too many damned layers.

After pressing her combadge on the tank, she pulled out the survival backpack and loaded it with as much ammo and emergency kits as she could find, and slid it onto her back, securing it at her waist. She added a knife and flashlight to her waist, then reached for the phaser rifle. Just arming herself lessened the feeling of dread, but now her goal was to get to the bridge, find her crew, and get rid of whatever or whoever had taken over her ship while she’d been negotiating trade with the Tak Tak.

—

Once Kathryn reached Deck One, she forced open the turboshaft doors and carefully made her way onto the bridge. A part of her had hoped the life signs came from here, though she quickly realized there wasn’t a soul in the room. But that green compound was everywhere. “Okay,” she said aloud as she made her way deeper into the room. The loud buzzing wasn’t present, so there were no aliens in the direct vicinity. She started toward the science station, but stopped when she stepped on something. 

Kathryn crouched to inspect it and froze. Oh, god no. Her heart dropped. She’d stepped on Charlie’s teething ring. She pulled the brightly colored soft toy out of the thick green puddle it lay in and stood. Chakotay would have never brought the baby to the bridge unless he suspected danger. Anger coursed through her. Kathryn tossed the ring onto Chakotay’s seat and stalked to the science station. Whatever these things were, if they hurt her son, they were going out the nearest airlock she could find.

With a practiced hand, Kathryn started a manual scan for both the crew and whatever the aliens were. Moving to the communications panel, she sent out a distress signal. Hopefully anyone passing by, preferably someone friendly, would help. She felt a pinch on her arm and slapped it. Some kind of insect had bitten her. What the hell was that doing here? Her upper arm was already starting to well up.

She pulled out a dermo-scanner and ran it over the bite, hoping to neutralize whatever the bug might have injected her with. As she did so, the console behind her beeped. The scan had finally ended. Her crew was concentrated in the Mess Hall and both Cargo Bays. She resettled the pack on her back and headed for the closest location first.

—

With caution, Kathryn moved down Deck Two en route to the Mess Hall, making sure the rifle she carried was on stun. She didn’t want to accidentally hit one of her own crew. As she got closer to the mess, plaintive coughs and other sounds of suffering became clearer.

Kathryn peeked in from behind the doors. None of the creatures were present, but the tables were filled with members of her crew, either barely conscious or out completely. Hoping desperately that those who seemed comatose were just that, and not dead, she pushed into the room and began scanning it for any of her senior staff. 

The first person she came across was Harry Kim, covered with the slime. His breathing was forced and sounded raspy, as if his lungs were full of something. She shook his shoulders and called his name, trying to rouse him. Unsuccessful, she moved to the next table. Each of her crew was in a very similar condition. She scanned the center of the room. That was when she saw Chakotay.

Her vision narrowed to only his unmoving body, and she gulped as she made her way to the table he lay on, set the gun down and gently reached for his shoulders. “Chakotay,” she whispered as she shook him gently. As her fingers moved to his neck to check for a pulse, she saw a raw welt. Several small gnat-like insects crawled out from the small wound and flew away. She shook him harder. “Chakotay!” Charlie was nowhere to be seen. 

The telltale buzz of a larger creature rose behind her, and she reached for the gun. Quickly switching the setting to kill, she gave her first officer’s shoulder one last squeeze, then turned to shoot. The creature slammed into her and threw her over the table before rearing to attack again. Kathryn aimed, shot, and the thing exploded, showering anything near with its gore.

Kathryn groaned as she turned to stand. She must have broken a rib or three. Her eyes skimmed the room again; there were Tom and B’Elanna. Ayala. Sam! That was Ensign Wildman behind Chakotay. She hobbled closer to the woman and saw no sign of little Naomi either. Now her concern truly grew; both infants were missing. Kathryn glanced again at Chakotay, brushing her hand across the top of his head. If those creatures could do whatever this was to the adults, what in God’s name had they done to two nine-month-olds? She’s still not entirely sure there’s an almighty out there who listened to and answered prayers, but she said a quick one, anyway. Hoping he, she, or it could somehow protect Voyager’s two babies.

With that thought, she moved back into the turboshaft and down to Deck Five and Sickbay. The pain worsened, and with it the phasers were back. Kathryn brushed her hand along the side of her head. “Go away,” she whispered. “I can’t deal with you now.”

The doors of the medical bay didn’t open, and she had to force them. A Kazon pushed a weapon at her throat. A Kazon who sounded an awful lot like the EMH. She blinked hard to clear the vision away.

“Captain! Forgive me, I thought you were one of those… things.”

Relief and pain nearly felled her then. “We have to move quickly before those aliens sense you and try to invade Sickbay,” he said as he helped her to the nearest biobed.

“Doctor, what’s going on here? What are those ...” She cried out as the pain coursed through her side.

The EMH immediately scanned her and listed her injuries. “You’ve ruptured your dorsal extensor muscle and bruised two ribs. I will have to perform minor surgery. Lie on your side and remain perfectly still.” 

“Tell me what’s happened here?” she asked through gritted teeth, while lying down. 

“Voyager has been infected by a macrovirus.” The Doctor gathered his equipment then reached to pull the shirt out of her waist to expose her back.

“A macrovirus?” 

“A life form I’ve never encountered.” The EMH picked up his surgical tool, “or even imagined.”

Her eyes closed as pain shot up her side. “What about the crew… ahh” 

The Doctor pushed her back down. “Captain, I’ll explain everything to you, but you need to lay still.” Once she settled, he started. “Shortly after you left to meet the Tak Tak, we received a distress call from a local mining colony. A race called the Garans…”

As he told his story of the outbreak on the mining colony, his first away mission and the virus getting loose on Deck Two, he finished healing Kathryn’s side. She eased herself into a seated position, but quickly realized she was slightly dizzy and definitely overheated. “It’s getting awfully warm in here.”

Doc scanned her, “You’re infected with the macrovirus and experiencing a very high fever.”

She nodded. “One of them bit me on the bridge.”

As the Doctor finished his scan, he explained: “Your glandular system is already being affected. If I don’t start treatment now, you’ll end up like the rest of the crew.” She could hear him preparing a hypospray behind her. “I’ve spent the past few hours perfecting an antigen,” he spoke as he walked around to her front. “I haven’t tested it on a live subject yet, I can’t…”

“Looks like I’ll be your guinea pig, Doctor.” Kathryn huffed out as she brushed sweat from her brows. She exposed her neck so the EMH could distribute the drug. “Why are the crew in the Mess Hall and the cargo bays? And have you seen Naomi and Charlie? Neither are with their parents.” 

The Doctor sighed needlessly. “I believe the larger viruses are driven by some instinct to assemble their host populations together.” He shrugged, “I’ve only been able to check on the crew in the mess hall before those things realized I was trying to cure their hosts. They seemed confused by my matrix and focused their attacks on my emitter. I haven’t ventured farther for fear they could damage my only form of travel.” His gaze lowered slightly, “I’m sorry. I don’t know where the little ones are.”

Kathryn nodded that she understood, but felt she needed to check the other two locations to find the two babies and bring them to the relative safety of sickbay. If she could mask their energy signatures, somehow.

The Doctor paced as he explained trying to get the vaccine to the crew. As he spoke she could hear distant humming. She brushed the sound away, thinking it was the ever present phaser fire in her mind. Instead, she reached to the medical instrument tray for the sheathed knife, “How many of the larger macroviruses are there?” she asked as she reattached the weapon to her belt.

The buzzing got louder and something banged on the sickbay doors. So, it was not the phaser fire after all, but one of those damned bugs. “Speak of the devil,” she muttered as she slid off the bed. The EMH scanned her and declared her injury, for the most part, healed. Good. “Now let’s get out of here and cure the rest of the crew.”

She moved to her pack and eased herself to the floor to restock it. Her side, though treated, was still painful. “Can we distribute the antigen in a gaseous form?”

“To be absorbed by the respiratory system? I’ve already considered that option, but we’d need to use the filtration system and it’s currently offline. I may be a brilliant physician, but I’m a terrible engineer,” he quipped.

She gave him a light smile, appreciative of the moment of levity. “You leave that to me.” She scanned the door with her tricorder, hoping for the macrovirus to get bored and move away. “All we need to do is get to environmental control on Deck Twelve.”

The EMH rocked on his heels and snipped, “Well that’s easier said than done. We’ll run into the same problem I had when I tried to get to the mess hall.”

Kathryn stood using the table as leverage and slipped the backpack on. “Just prepare two canisters of antigen.” She grabbed the phaser rifle and stepped closer to the Doctor as he followed her order. “We’ll split up and take two different routes to environmental control. If you get there first, call me and I’ll talk you through the repairs.”

He explained that the virus was attracted to infrared radiation, and she set her tricorder to a thermal scattering field, then dropped the scanning device into her backpack. Handed her one of the canisters, he said he was ready when she was. She was more than ready. It was time to get her ship back.

She took a deep breath and let the Doctor help her into the Jefferies Tube access hatch. With whispered ‘good luck’s they set off in their separate tubes. Kathryn crawled, the incessant buzzing now almost as annoying as the phaser sound that still was present at the edge of her awareness. At this point, she almost had to admit the nonexistent phasers were more of a comfort. Hah! she chided herself.

She pushed open a door at the third juncture and was immediately set upon by one of the amoeba-like creatures.Jerking away, she reached for her phaser, and obliterated it and its three approaching friends. Giving herself a moment, she sat back on the ledge the nearest crawlspace made. As she exhaled deeply, her combadge chirped. It was the Doctor, and he had bad news. He was trapped and could go no further than the shuttle bay. 

Dammit. Now it was solely on her. She blew out a breath, slapped her knees and stood. “On your way, Captain. Let’s do this.” 

She reached the environmental control room without encountering any macrovirus and quickly got the ship’s circulatory system back online. She was listening to the Doctor’s instructions for dispersing the cure, when the ship rocked violently. “Dammit!” she muttered, clutching the wall to stay upright.

“What now?” the Doctor questioned over the comms.

“It feels like someone is firing on Voyager!” she yelled. “Who the hell is shooting at us?” she asked no one in particular. “Doctor, use the sensors on the shuttle, figure out who that is and patch the data to me.” Kathryn activated the viewscreen on the center console and her shoulders dropped in confusion. “It’s the Tak Tak. Why are they firing on us?” She mumbled to herself. “Doctor, hail that ship.”

When her hail was answered, she asked, “Consul, why are you shooting at us?” His explanation that he was trying to purify the ship to stop the virus sent a roll of fear down her back. With more emotion in her voice than she intended, she barked, “purifying? You’re trying to destroy us!”

“No choice,” the man replied. “There is no cure for the virus. Voyager’s existence is a threat.” He continued in a smug combination of hand gestures and speech. She really hated these beings. “Your sickness, our apologies.” He finished almost sincerely.

“We have a cure!” Kathryn remarked quickly. “I was just trying to distribute it to my crew when your weapons damaged my ability to do so.” She wiped the sweat from her upper lip and offered, “I will share this vaccine with you, if you stop firing on my ship!”

“A cure?” She had his attention now. “You’ll share?” She nodded. “I will give you an hour.” His face vanished as he cut the transmission. Kathryn blew out the breath she’d unconsciously been holding. They had an hour. Better get to work, now that dispersing the vaccine through the filtration vents was no longer an option thanks to the Tak Tak’s ill-timed torpedo knocking out the secondary power couplings.

She tried again to get the system back online, but the even blacker darkness in the room confirmed what she suspected. The secondary power systems were now offline as well. Dammit! Think Kathryn. Think! Suddenly another voice swam into her mind. Seska’s unwelcome voice: _Yes Captain, think about your situation._ Kathryn swiped at the air next to her ear. “Shut up!” She shook her head. The crew, concentrate on the crew. Chakotay. Charlie. Save them. Think!

Suddenly it clicked. Independent power sources! Kathryn scanned the ship for any other source of power. Life support. Shuttle craft. Holodeck. That’s it! The Holodeck.

Kathryn slapped her combadge. “Doctor, you said the virus is attracted to infrared signatures, yes?”

 _Yes, that’s right?_ his answer was questioning.

She smiled, “Right now it’s just the two of us aboard.” Her grin got bigger. “Let’s give them an entire feast!”

_”What are you suggesting?”_

“We’ll use one of the programs that included a multitude of characters. Perhaps Paris’s resort program. Give them an infrared signature to imitate life and ring the dinner bell.” From the workstation she was at, Kathryn proceeded to do exactly as she promised. Noting the sudden uptick in the virus on her sensors, she smiled. It worked. 

“Doctor, it’s working like a charm. You should now have clear access to all locations with the crew. Take your hyposprays and do what you do best.” She gathered what she needed for her own separate mission.

_I will, Captain. Good luck. Doctor out._

Putting the final touches on the time bomb she cobbled together, Kathryn slipped the antigen cartridge into its place on the explosive. It was ready. She grabbed the phaser rifle and again charged it. “Let’s get this over with.” With her determination back into place, Kathryn stalked out of the Environmental control room, feeling fully in charge for the first time in months.

“This is my ship!” Kathryn said through angry gritted teeth as she strode towards the holodeck. “I am taking my ship back!” She could hear the distant buzz of the creatures now collected together. The sounds of the phaser were also getting louder in her mind. “No!” she yelled. Confidently. “You do not control me anymore!” she called into the darkness.

“No more!”

She stopped outside the open door where the buzzing was the loudest, then activated the bomb and set the timer for forty seconds. Enough for her to get a good distance from the explosion. With a press of a button, the countdown started.

Getting ready to throw her present into the room, she suddenly heard a loud buzzing behind her. Kathryn turned, just as one of the macroviruses attacked her. She flew one way, her weapon went a second way and the bomb went another. Dammit! Kathryn reached for her rifle, but a voice stopped her cold. 

“Still fighting back, Captain?”

Seska! Stunned, Kathryn crawled backwards on instinct before she caught herself. This couldn't be real. Seska was dead. Anger took over. “Yes! I am fighting back.” Kathryn clambered to a stand, pulling the knife from her belt. “You have no hold on me anymore!”

“Are you sure about that?” Seska stalked forward, looming over her. 

“You’re dead!” The image of Seska now faded slightly to an almost double exposure with the macrovirus Kathryn knew she was actually fighting. “You do not scare me!” Kathryn stabbed out as the Seska creature lunged forward. “This is my life! You don’t own it anymore!”

She stumbled as the thing dropped dead. “It’s over, Seska.” Kathryn turned and sought out the bomb. Noting there was less than ten seconds left, she quickly grabbed it and rushed to the doorway.

As she yelled, “I am taking my life back!” Kathryn heaved the bomb as far as she could, then ran quickly around the corner. She tucked into a tight ball and fell to the floor as a huge explosion ripped through the deck. The Doctor commed to tell her the danger had passed and with what little of the adrenaline rush she had left she inquired about the ship. It was about as fine as she was. Slightly damaged, but they would both recover. Kathryn lay there catching her breath. The immediate danger had passed, but the pain in her side was sharp. She had re-injured her ribs.

She could either stay here in an exhausted heap for the rest of the day, or finish what she’d started. Shoring up her energy, Kathryn tapped her combadge. “Doctor. Head on to sickbay and prepare dosages of the vaccine. We need to revive the crew.” But, first things first. She needed to find her… Chakotay’s son. She needed to find Charlie.

She was halfway to Cargo Bay two when she remembered the Tak Tak.

Kathryn found a console she could use to contact the aliens and explain to them that the danger was over. When the consul agreed to her terms she smiled. Before switching off, he said something that she truly needed to hear.

“Many thanks, Captain of Voyager. Good health.”

Kathryn smiled and blinked back tears. “I am the Captain of Voyager.” She rubbed her forehead, then involuntarily got a whiff of her clearly overworked body. She chuckled. “Good health, indeed.”

She commed the Doctor and asked him to send the formula for their vaccine and a sample of it to the Tak Tak . “Once you do that, Doctor, go to the Mess Hall. My senior staff is your priority. We need this ship up and running before the warp core destabilizes. Captain out.”

As quickly as she could, Kathryn reached Cargo Bay two and went inside. She clutched her side as she looked over the injured crewmen. No sign of either of the little ones. They must be in the other cargo bay. With a verbal promise that help was soon to come to the unconscious crew, she left and headed up to the other known location.

Kathryn walked along the now eerily quiet halls with fierce determination. The worst of the battle was over. Now she needed her crew up and running. Once she found the babies, she would start getting the ship’s power online on her own. Time to give her engineering skills a refresh.

Now approaching the first cargo bay, she could feel her side hurting even more. That would have to wait. The Doc would be busy over the next few hours. She’d survived a hell of a lot worse than a cracked rib or two. Kathryn stopped at the door and manually pushed it open.

Her stomach knotted with a fear that she may not find Naomi and Charlie. If she didn’t, she had half a mind to go back in time and kill those damned macroviruses all over again. She moved among the prone crew, searching. She had to stop herself from calling Charlie’s name, knowing he wouldn’t respond.

Her heart broke a little more with each row she passed with no sign of the pair she was looking for. Finally, in the dead center of the room, she noticed four people crowded around something. It had to be the infants. With bated breath she stepped over and gently moved aside the unconscious body of Ensign Lang, and the three others who had protected Naomi and Charlie. Kathryn dropped to her knees in relief. Those four crewmen would receive commendations in their files.

Kathryn reached in and gently picked up Charlie. “Hi, my boy.” She whispered. “I’ve got you now. Mama’s got you now.” She lay his barely breathing body against her shoulder. “I’m gonna get you help.” She reached forward and scooped up the small Ktarian form. “I’ve got you, too, sweetie.” She heard a small buzzing and realized there were still some smaller viruses around. She needed to get out of there before one bit her, and they escaped. “All right you two, let’s go.” 

She struggled to a stand, holding tight to the little ones, her side protesting heavily. Once upright, she headed straight for sickbay.

The Doctor took charge of the babies and quickly hustled the few senior staff emerging from the illness into treatment. She moved with him. “Doctor, I think your initial idea of using the filtration system is the best one. The crew that’s still down are still producing the small viruses. We need to get those contained before we’re right back where we started.”

“Agreed,” he said while treating his youngest patients.

“As soon as you are finished here, get B’Elanna on her feet ASAP. I’m going back down to environmental controls to finish what I started.” Kathryn ordered. “Send her down to engineering. We need power yesterday.”

The Doctor nodded toward a table, “That’s the canister I didn’t get a chance to use. Take it and find a power source.”

As she moved to pick up the antigen, she noticed Chakotay laying on one of the bio beds. Before she realized it, her feet had taken her to his side. She drifted a hand across his forehead. “Your son is safe. You’re safe.” She held up the black container, “and as soon as I fix this, the ship will be safe.” She gave his shoulder a tight squeeze. “I’ll be back soon.”

Once back down in control, Kathryn jury rigged the power supply with the Holodecks, loaded the canister into the distribution system, pressed the button and crossed her fingers.

—

They were all right. All of them. Her entire crew; Charlie and Naomi; Chakotay. Voyager had suffered no casualties from the macrovirus. Thank god. Kathryn settled deeper into the bathtub. Poor Chakotay would have to deal with a bathroom that smelled of lavender and roses for some time, but she had earned this dammit. Kathryn smiled. Oh, she had earned this.

She’d fought off that damned virus on her own. And in doing so, she had fought off Seska and the memories of her captivity in the hands of the Kazon.. For the first time in seven months; she was finally ready to get back on the bridge and get back to living. Hmm, living. Kathryn took a deep breath and sank beneath the water, cleansing herself fully of the events of the past few months. She resurfaced and wrung out her hair.

As the water drained from the tub, she stood and wrapped herself tightly into a towel. Chakotay was still in sickbay, probably not for much longer, so she knew she was alone. Well, alone but for one tiny person. Kathryn left the bathroom and quickly dressed into her uniform because she finally felt comfortable in it again. When she’d left Voyager with Neelix and had put it on for the first time, it’d felt wrong. Now, as she zipped the jacket, it felt right. Like she was ready to take on the universe again.

She placed her pips on one by one, fixed her hair and declared herself ready. She wasn’t going to the bridge today. Not just yet. Right now, the captain was heading down to sickbay to check on the crew still there. She crouched next to the small pen that a now awake Charlie played in and smiled. “How about we go see Papa?” she said, taking her son in her arms.

And from that day, life for Kathryn Janeway moved steadily onward.


End file.
